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First Name: Anonymous
I was a new single mother when I met this guy. He was really nice and treated my son as his own. After we moved in together, he became extremely verbally abusive to me. He isolated me from my friends and family. He stopped working and forced me to quit my job and made me use my money that I had to buy whatever he wanted. A couple of months after we moved in together, I found out that I was pregnant. The abuse became overwhelming, but I stayed with him for his child. He was always accusing me of cheating on him, even though I spent every second with him. After we had the baby, he started physically abusing my oldest child. He was always threatening me and my kids and I was so scared to leave. I was finally able to talk to someone and they gave me resources I needed and I finally got the courage to leave. I am still scared from time to time, but I talk to people about how I'm feeling and it gets me through. I am very happy that I left because now I know my children are happy and safe!
First Name: Olivia
It Happened. And I’m sorry, but it’s not going away. I am so very sorry. That girl you were before, she’s never coming back. The memories, will never be massacred. Your life, will never be the same. Some of the outside world will understand. Some will not. Some will try. But It Happened. And you are ultimately the one who has to pick up the pieces. You may not have gotten closure. You may question, “Why Me?”. You may still yearn for an apology. But you cannot wait for any of these to be satisfied. Instead, you must dust yourself off, even if the dust is unsettled. But since It Happened, you are allowed to question, and spend long nights crying your eyelids raw. You are allowed to get angry, and mourn for your old self. You are allowed to want to be alone, as those who love you will understand. I want to assure you, though, that you cannot place a timeline on healing. You can’t get frustrated with yourself for needing to cry, or scream, or both. And you can't be alarmed, if something so minuscule triggers those weak and feeble feelings once more. And while yes, It Sure Did Happen, you can’t get mad at your heart for attempting to sympathize someone who took away your light. Because perhaps at some point, you thought they were your light. Yet, there is no need to regret saving yourself, and not them. Because you are not to blame for the actions of another. I am sorry, that It Happened. But with it must come some good. I cannot assure you that I have found every bit of it yet. But I discover more and more each day. I have gradually come to welcome the girl who is now me. The one who faces monsters every day, both in person and in her head. A battle I realize is psychologically draining, one I do wish to run away from, yet one I refuse to give into. Like you, I am slowly claiming my life back in trying to show kindness to all I meet. Perhaps to compensate, for such I did not receive. I am happy to proclaim that my laughter is more frequent, my voice louder, my smile wider. But it did happen. To me, maybe to you. And I’ll admit, my walls have since been built with intricacy. I still confront, question, cry, mourn. And I have accepted that what seems to be a sunny day, with a cloudless sky, might pose that single grey cloud, lurking in the background. It Happened. And I am still recovering. But I am still me. I still have the same long, blonde hair, and the same blue eyes. I still sing often, watch movies, and read. I still have the same family and friends whom I love dearly. For, the grey cloud, it may be there. But it no longer covers the sun. And when it does storm, it never lasts. For, It Happened. But it is over. And I am now strong, you are strong too.
Open Arms Domestic Violence & Rape Crisis Services